


Do-over.

by idolatres



Category: Fate/Apocrypha, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, the og father son duo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 10:09:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17979359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idolatres/pseuds/idolatres
Summary: The holy grail means a lot to the two, it means a second chance at getting things right this time.short drabble centered on my fav father-son duo.





	Do-over.

    Kairi was used to having nightmares. His step-daughter's smile twisting into pain and disgust, hands creeping over her, claws digging into her flesh, ripping her apart until there's nothing left but dust. Unpleasant reminders of the past mixed with guilt coming back to torment him more. It was fine. He used to wake up drenched in sweat, bile pushing it's way past his lips. Body convulsing with each shudder. It was fine, he insisted. It's good to remember. He doesn't want to forget.  
  
  
    It got easier as time went on, his initial reactions less violent the more frequent the dreams were. Now he'd simply sit up, and reach for his cigarettes. Allowing his mind to go blank as the inhaled nicotine soothed his senses.  
  
  
  
    Mordred reminded him of a lot of things. At first he mistook him as a remnant of his own past. His overzealous confidence and desire to prove himself were like whispers of how he used to be. His wish though, was grandiose, much unlike Kairi's own wish. He thought it was amusing, that the bastard traitor of the round table had such notions and standards. Don't hurt civilians, but use whatever means necessary to win. Kairi respected his style.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
    The first shared dream between them made Kairi feel how he used to. His skin clammy, and his throat constricting painfully as it fought back the urge to spew vomit. When he glanced over at Mordred, he was fine. Legs bouncing idly as his face was twisted into a combination of boredom and thought. He noticed his Master was finally awake, and stared at him in confusion as he examined the drops of sweat pooling on his forehead.   
  
  
    "What?" Mordred asks. Clearly oblivious to what Kairi had just seen. He has to resist the urge to laugh, waving a dismissive hand at Mordred as he digs out his pack of cigarettes.  
  
  
    "Nothin'." Kairi lies. Better to not bring up a sore subject without Mordred's consent. Besides, Kairi wasn't even sure where to begin with what he witnessed. He lights his cig, inhaling deeply as his eyes shut. Reminding himself it was only a dream as he holds the smoke in.   
  
  
    Mordred rolls his eyes, shifting his weight onto his side as he turns to face Kairi. "You look like shit." He states, matter of fact. Kairi almost barks with laughter, flicking the ashes off his cigarette onto the tomb's floor.   
  
  
    "You mean more-so than usual?" A half hearted joke, trying to ease the conversation away from blooming into anything serious.  
  
  
    Mordred snorts, teeth barred in a grin, but it doesn't last. He can tell somethings off, he can tell his Master isn't sharing something. He can't blame him though, everyone has secrets they want to keep. Still, Mordred can't help but be worried. "You sure you gonna be alright?"   
  
  
    "Yeah," another flick, more ashes accumulating onto the floor, "Not my first time havin' a nightmare."  
  
  
    Mordred perks up, not expecting Kairi to admit it was a nightmare that has him like this. He sits up, resting his arms on his knees as he studies Kairi's features closely. He wishes he could see his eyes, wishes he wouldn't wear those damn sunglasses underground with dim candlelight. "Wanna talk about it?" He offers.   
  
  
    Silence oozes out, covering them both in a blanket of unease. Kairi puts off having to reply by taking languid drags off his cigarette. The more he stares at Mordred, the more his dream pushes to the front. Mordred skewered onto a lance, killed by his own father. Mordred's desperate growls and screams, frustrated and betrayed by his own fate. It makes Kairi's heart twist, makes him feel pity.  
  
  
    Every time Kairi's gaze lowers, he can see the spear, pushed through Mordred's chest. He has to resist the urge to retch, the imagery torturing his mind with uncertainty.  
  
  
    "No point focusing on the past right now, we have a mission." A weak excuse, but it's all he can give. Mordred doesn't bother pushing any further, realizing it's pointless.  
  


* * *

  
  
    The two make an amazing team, they both know this. The more they fight, Kairi is reminded of it. Mordred's skills are unparalleled. Brute strength with raw instincts, paired with Kairi's strategem, there's no doubt in either of their minds that they can win this grail.  
  
  
    and then it's revealed what their wishes are. The two are much alike, both wounded animals, not wanting anyone to get too close. Kairi expected Mordred to judge him over his past, but the opposite happened.  
  
  
    "Some things you shouldn't forget."   
  
  
    It was a harsh truth for the two. Mordred's personality usually rough and abrasive, turned soft in mutual understanding. Kairi didn't want to make the connection, but his brain was ahead of him. He looked at Mordred's eyes, how they burned with determination, and he saw his daughter in the knight's intense gaze.  
  
  
    Kairi didn't want to say anything, his hands fumbling with his cigarette pack, quick to get some form of relief.  
  
  
    He wondered if Mordred saw anything similar, wondered if memories of his father leaked into his own image. He couldn't bring himself to ask.  
  


* * *

  
  
      
    The goal of winning waned,  replaced with personal matters and a need for revenge.   
  
  
    The nightmares stopped, sleep now an empty embrace of blind resting and relaxation.   
  
  
    "I wanted to help my father." Mordred said quietly, his usual bravado and confidence weak with the admission.  
  
  
    Kairi didn't judge, simply nodding  as Mordred continued to speak.  
  
  
    "I admired him, so much that it..." Silence, nothing needed to be said. It caused his downfall, his status as a traitor. The brand that will continue to haunt him for as long as he is summoned, for as long as he is plagued with a never ending battle. Before, Kairi thought his title as the bastard knight fit him, but now, it seemed so far from the actual truth.  
  
  
    Kairi thought of his daughter again, except this time, he realized they weren't the same. Mordred could never be his daughter, but, the sentiment Kairi felt towards his servant was that of parental love. "You were--, no, you are a good son." Kairi says, and he swears he sees the innocent boy who wanted so badly to help his father in front of him, not the grown knight, a ruthless killer.   
  
  
    The flash of emotions that writes over Mordred's face is fast. Hurt, confusion, love, regret, all twisting his features into the small child with noble goals gone wrong. He tries to shake it off, smiling at Kairi. "Shut up, don't get all sappy on me now, Master."  
  
  
  
    Kairi wondered if that was the first time Mordred ever heard those words, and he realized: he no longer needs the grail to fulfill his wish.  
  
  
    Because Mordred has already granted him a second chance at being a father.

**Author's Note:**

> https://idolatres.tumblr.com/
> 
> requests / one shots / headcanons / imagines are open !!!  
> feel free to bug me :D


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